weirdunicornworld:

They promised. They lied.
They loved you. They lied.
They want to fix you. They lied.
You broke down the walls for them.
You opened up your heart for them.
But they lied to you.
They broke the promise.
They never loved you.
You got attached.
You promised yourself that you wouldn’t de that again.
As you drive the blade into your skin.
You repeat. ‘You got attached. Stop it’
‘Everyone leaves you, stop getting attached!’

berenstainpear:

There’s a gap, between
The end of her life
And the start of mine
Occupied by
A blank space, completely empty
When I should be able to look back and remember.
Time stopped, then restarted– 

Beginning; ending with my pointing
To a girl’s arm,
Admiring the torn skin
And asking
“What are those?”

Watching her hide her them quickly,
Yanking up the sleeve of her hoodie
Her mumbling: 
“It helps.”
Subsequently my imagining a world where blank memories didn’t hover
And wake me up screaming.

Beginning, with a screwdriver
And a dollar store razorblade meant to shave the
Stubble off my legs
Forcing the metal out of the plastic
And holding it like a lifeline.

—
Hesitating, looking up to the ceiling
Like there was going to be any Divine Intervention
Stopping me from starting a vicious cycle.

—
My right hand, shaking, poised above my arm
Ready, but scared, resulting in
The first cut being tiny, just to prove I could do it.

More following, until my
Lifeblood, ran down my left arm,
Red and sticky in globs that made me
Numb
Until I couldn’t feel anything at all.

All I heard was the rapid
Intake of my own unsteady breaths,
Quickly changing into laughter,
Manic, but needed. Necessary.

Blood pit-patted, dropping onto
Once-pristine tile.
Like red paint, it spread;
Picturesque splatters
Beautiful.
And in the aftermath, my return to reality 
I allowed myself to cry.